Beautiful Madness

You're smiling. Like a child who doesn't know what it all about but he's enjoying a lot. And in a second you begin to dance. The music is surround you, like a tramp. There is magic! Maybe because you don't know from where she comes, who, why and...yes, tell me, why are you dancing, my friend? I want to dance too, to feel the energy, the beauty that shines through..

I'm the painter of my dreams. And from that light I begin to draw my reality. Down there is the real pleasure of my soul. It's me without any mask or path of shadow. I'm sitting in my tiny bed in the end of my world and I'm watching the movie. It''s about Modigliani and his life. Is starting...I'm having this strange feeling that I'm living in the movie and I'm painting with him, we are laughing together, we are walking on the streets...but wait! I know this street: I'm walking every morning on it...I'm feeling like home and home is in this movie, I'm walking on my favourite street in Bucharest where the sun is so...yes, I'm wondering if there is any word who can catch my emotion right now: to catch like you are catching the butterflies. But with your hands. I'm thinking that I always wanted to met a real painter - or one of those big butterflies that you can see only one or two times in your life. To met him and to find the truth. "That" truth, yes - about their flight through the morning and "Tell me, my dear how is the real colour of the morning...or his smell".

Modigliani is here in my room. And I'm seeing his pictures on my walls. Like living ones. Jeanne is standing in my front quiet with his hand protecting his unborn child... "Tell me, Modigliani, are you mad?" In my room there is no space for words..or for talking. We shall keep our words for other nights or mornings. My memory brings me this image..big, full of light eyes. Fish eyes - as I called them in my mind. They are starring at me and I know they are in for something....

My dear reader, I will speak only with my soul language. I'll let him to tell you how you can wake up one morning with the truth in your mind and heart, knowing without reason what road you must follow like a mad. A beautiful one. But this in my next story...